LOVE AAJKAL

In my school days, I read a poem titled” Try try again”. I followed this policy in every sphere of life (with exception to studies, of course). I had followed this mantra after getting rejected once I propose someone. But, recently I had suffered a few setbacks. Whenever and wherever I go and see a beautiful feminine creature stuck over phone. God knows, who are they talking to?? Well, as soon as you think of approaching her once she has disconnected the call, you will get your shock of the day. A young, handsome (as the guy thinks of himself) guy comes from nowhere and escorts the girl. Yaar,,,,IS THERE NO SCOPE FOR LOSERS LIKE US??????

I think YES…There is very little scope for late starters and losers like us. It’s over guys. Trust me. Whenever I think of approaching or proposing (next step) a girl I find that she already has a BOYFRIEND (aashiq in hindi) who is ready to bear her whims and fancies for a lifetime. In many cases, when girls are fed up of disingenuous friend requests and barnacle romeos on Social networking websites, they simply change their profile picture. The new picture has her boyfriend hugging/kissing/munching her tightly. A clear indication to losers like us to “STAY AWAY.”

In some other cases, couples are making joint accounts on Social networking Websites. They share profile names, passwords and manage accounts in collaboration. A friend request from a stranger would be judged by both of them. If they think you are genuine and not a stalker, they may allow you to be on their elite list of friends. I think this trend has come down to them from the famous Hollywood couple “Brangelina” a.k.a. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Anyways, love has acquired myriad new dimensions today. So another clear indication to losers like us to “STAY AWAY.”

Another popular trend is follow one’s hubby on microblogging site “Twitter”. Follow each other through tweeps. Read your beau’s mind and give your piece of mind to him/her as well. It could be a good entrepreneurial venture too where if you start posting love tweeps which strengthens relationship between two people (of opposite sex, off course) , you will have a large number of followers and you can start your own consultancy. Love, in fact is an entrepreneurial venture hitherto unexplored atleast in the Indian Market. So, all you budding entrepreneurs reading this post, ponder over this for a while. So, all you single people just “STAY AWAY” from moonstruck people on this site.

All I can construe from my observation is that Love AAJKAL has become Love ONLINE. And don’t try or hope to fall in love because it’s like a battle almost lost. Stay single, Stay happy is the mantra of the day……….

"Reality behind Reality Shows"

To escape from my boredom, while my stay at home. I switched on my idiot box. Thanks to Mr. J.L. Baird who gave us TV so that we could watch things/events taking place nearly thousands of miles away sitting in our drawing rooms or maybe bedrooms in a few cases. Well, all was well till our sweet, monotonous, archaic Doordarshan was there for all those years. Daily news twice a day coupled with a movie on Friday night and epics like Ramayana/Mahabharata/Shree Krishna on Sunday mornings ensured a healthy, wholesome entertainment for the whole family. But, no things started changing with the advent of cable television. With the cable television came a plethora of channels along with innumerable operators in the country. Cut throat competition in between all these channels ensured that every time you have to do something new, something fresh to retain the top spot for the most coveted TRP ratings.

With this very concept of attaining top slot in TRP ratings, idea of reality shows emerged. Reality shows have now become the need of the hour. Every prominent channel is telecasting atleast 2-3 reality shows every week. Well, I m on way to dissect these shows to disentangle the truth behind them. I still remember about INDIAN IDOL on Sony Television which I believe was the first ever reality show on Television. People got glued to their TV sets while the show was on air. God, voting lines and all, mass hysteria, hype and hoopla created throughout the nation regarding the best talent search of the nation. I still remember their words” bharat ke pehle rock star ki khoj and blah blah” . In a nation of billions, where there is no dearth of talent, will a particular channel be able to find the best talent, I seriously doubt!!!!.

The reality shows brought with them a whole lot of new emotions too. Recently I was watching a show with my 6 yr old nephew, the show was Sach ka Saamna on STAR television. A middle aged urban lady acknowledges the fact that she stole items of daily usage from shops, she had beaten her husband in the past, had a secret holiday with her friends and the list was unending. It was really petulant to watch the show. The whole episode really perturbed me when my little nephew asked me whether all are bad these days. What a negative impression on his immaculate mind…Huh!!

These days celebrities are even finding grooms and brides for themselves using reality shows. I believe most of you must be familiar with Rakhi ka Swayamvar. The nasty item girl of Hindi Cinema decided to look for a suitable groom for herself using this reality platform. Oh my god!!there were people dying to marry this b****????Engineers, doctors, NRIs…Everyone was in the bedlam voicing his opinion. The fake material accent of Rakhi, words like ‘Jejus’ etc. were really fractious. I was befuddled to find that guys were thronging in large numbers only to be bamboozled by Rakhi at last.

The jungle show on SONY was another delightful moment. Flop celebrities from all spheres of life gathered in some bulls*** jungle of Thailand. They were asked to sleep with snakes, f*** crocodiles and several other arduous tasks. People were forming relationships in the game show, girls were bitching, guys were back biting and let me tell you there was loads of gibberish.

Well, let us face the reality….These shows are made because we watch them. We love to see people in pain, we have grown sadistic due to our monotonous lives. Television is just a reflection of society. After a long day’s work, we look for something which could rejuvenate us for next day….But, the evils of these showa are flagrant now in the society. So, next time when you switch on your IDIOT BOX, better be cautious!!!!!

"Last Days@SMIT"

Finally after my major project, I got an opportunity to visit my alma mater a.k.a. SMIT. We all were very excited at the very thought of reunion in the picturesque environs of Sikkim. The moment came and we finally reached college after the tedious train and taxi journey coupled together.
Attention folks!!!! Engineers@SMIT are any day more travel friendly than other engineers. For all these four years, journey to college from NJP has been very gruelling as soon as you de board the train at NJP. Often taxi drivers would ask for an exorbitant amount on pretext of puja season/tourist season/landslide season etc.etc……please suggest me more of these coz my memory fails me here. So, booking a taxi at a fair price was no less than sweating it out for grades in semesters. Well well….according to john bon jovi “Nothing good comes easy, all good things take some time” (courtesy: dry county).

As soon as I reached aritra’s room, animax started blathering regarding some great tormenter of CSE Deptt who had asked a fellow student to scribble down a 100 page report. Oooh god!!! I was stunned to hear this. For all my respected teachers of SMIT, all I have to say is “ I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

The CSE deptt. was hell bent on teaching students the intricacies of MS Word & PowerPoint along with a few programming languages(only the outdated ones). While we were enjoying the beauty of Sikkim and were slaying our useful time in superfluous activities, our fellow counterparts were working hard on their monitors. They were busy in making last minute arrangements/corrections in their reports and presentations. I think the deptt did all this deliberately to accustom these guys with pressure situations. I (un)fortunately got an opportunity to stay with one of the most intelligent guys of CSE. Even he was terrified of a few faculty members……

Other departments of the college made sure that students stay cool and calm during their last stay. Now, how could I forget fashion if I talk of SMITians(species from SMIT). Many of our female colleagues had a whole new wardrobe of clothes; others had got a trendy hairdo. Guys, a little less fashionable had bought themselves either a new pair of jeans or a few of them, a new mobile phone.

Gangtok was a quintessential part of our existence at SMIT. The capital of Sikkim and nearest civilized location to our college was the centre of our escapades after any gruelling sessional/lab semester/placement parties etc. etc……There was absolutely no question of skipping Gangtok from our itinerary in the last trip. In fact, I visited Gangtok twice during my stay. Hey, Gangtok has got a “Dominnoz”. So, SMIT folks have got another reason to rob their parents. The food in innumerable restaurants of Gangtok was the same. You will never be able to find consistency in any restaurant of Gangtok. So, better be cautious.

The pressure of final semester exams was also there. We had our presentation and it was pretty ordinary. Nobody sitting there was interested in knowing the basics of telecommunication from us. So, we better kept it to ourselves. Days were passing in quick succession. The feeling of being separated from each other really perturbed me. The D-Day came and many started departing in turns. At times, I controlled my emotions. But, it was not possible to keep these demons under my control.
So, I cried on a few occasions.

We live in a world where we have to make choices at every step of our life. Sometimes, it may lead us to the place we just dreamed of and sometimes into the unknown. On the way to our goals and ambitions in SMIT and life thereafter, there are some who stuck in midst and could not be termed successful, some however pull to excel and there are a few who choose the path less traversed. There were teachers who taught us, seniors (mentors) who guided us every time and showed us the path when darkness hovered around everywhere. But each one of them had their own style of functioning. But, they always had something to teach us.

In all these four years, there are things we achieved, things we missed, things we learnt. But, every time we did something, we learnt something.
But , the moments we spent here will be etched in our memories forever…and ever and ever……………

"Run With the Leader,OOps I fell down"

A few weeks ago, I had a dream……I am gonna narrate it to you all. A stagecoach is running with so many horses….Oops!!! I just can’t count. Have I gone colour blind too???? God, I sincerely hope that it’s not a criterion for the initial success. Rush in your entries, the last date is approaching expeditiously. Huh!! I did it somehow. Keep your fingers crossed for the early triumph.

Days passed and nights spent in agony of flustered feelings. One dark night, mailbox looks more than unlimited after a mail struts laudatory messages. Those who didn’t receive it had fire of anguish burning with even more verve. Hey what are you waiting for??? Pack your bags and make preparations for your journey to an alien city where you have to perform. Perform?? Yes, perform like an acrobat cramming two questions specially tailored to inspire the so called managers was another arduous task. Well, engage a friend pursuing English (Hons.) Or mass communication to write perfect replies because an engineer is never trained to write/perform in such situations. Buy a mirror to rehearse your crammed answers; after all it’s a question of 5L bucks yaar!!

Ahhhh!!! At least free breakfast for all the contestants of this great show. These things offer a great respite in spite of so much pressure. Many of us were there with rosary beads praying for their eternal success. I befriended with a few guys (acrobats) from some other institution. The first round was over in a moment and we waited for the outcome. I was through it and we were given coupons of the great ‘luncheon’ with perhaps the best recruiters in the world, as perceived by most of the Smitians (species from my college). The meal was good in taste, but most of us were busy in inquiring about recession, Obama, banking laws and other such muddle headed but impressive talks. Next was the final hurdle of clearing the ‘grand finale’ of this mega touted feat.

The queries had a very wide spectrum ranging from anything to everything. Again a few crammed answers would have done the trick, nevertheless, somebody advised me to remain grounded, and I took it so seriously that I experienced gravity even more on this day. Finally a consolation prize was the only consolation for slaying so much of effort, energy, money, resources and time.

Bye bye stagecoach, my dream of running with the leader, perhaps some other day, some other time or maybe some other life.

"O Re Duniya"

Sometimes, we encounter an incident wherein we face one or the other harsh realities of life. I also came across such an incident very recently. I met an acquaintance who had come all the way from my maternal grandparents’ place called Ballia. A poor old man nearly 70 years old, His dhoti kurta was tattered and seemed like he had to struggle a lot even in reaching Lucknow. I addressed him politely and enquired the reason for the purpose of his visit. He addressed me in Bhojpuri (incidentally, my mother tongue) and said “Babua ji, I came here for a help. I am in dire need of money to save my agricultural lands”. He narrated the whole incident of how he mortgaged his lands to a zamindaar (landlord) for supporting the studies of his only son and the marriage of his daughter. I asked why he didn’t go to his son or daughter for help.

He explained that he was not allowed to borrow money from his daughter or son-in-law.”Babua ji, paap lagi.bhagwan ke dware kauna muh leke jaawab deb?”(It would be sinful for me. I won’t be able to face god when I go to the heavens). Poor guy, there is no such thing as heaven or hell. But, I decided better not to shatter his faith in this age. I understood that his son must be one among the useless unemployed youth of the country. He then said “I went to my son for help. But he couldn’t lend a helping hand” I enquired regarding the credentials of his son. He said “hamaar ladkawa bahut bada saaheb hai babuaji, PCS officer ban gaya hai” (My son is an important officer. He is a PCS officer). I felt a bit strange and thought he was boasting mendaciously.

He narrated the whole story then. He gave accounts of his son’s callousness towards him. He said that he went to his son’s place without any prior notification. The security guard at the entrance gate asked him to stop and to explain the purpose of his visit. The old man said that he had come to meet PCS saahab. The guard asked him to take a seat near the visitor’s room. The old man sitting there grew restless after a few hours and started bothering the guard. The guard was now vexed and went to the PCS informing him about the arrival of old man. The officer grew anxious, as he was in an important meeting and was horrified of the fact that what would happen if his colleagues would discover that his father comes from such a humble, rural background.

The officer ran towards the visitor’s room and greeted his father. Looking at his father’s tattered clothes, he started scolding his father. He asked” why didn’t you informed me about your arrival? I should have bought new clothes for you”. The old man replied” I invested all my money in your education and in your sister’s marriage. I am a pauper now. I have come here to borrow money from you to save our agricultural lands”. The son said nothing after that. He ordered the sentry to take his father to the guest house located outside the residential bungalow. The old man tired of his tiresome journey took a bath and started waiting for his daughter-in-law and grandchildren to come and seek his blessings. Alas! It was night and no one came, not even his son to discuss the issue of lands.
The old man understood the intricacies of this modern world and walked away at the crack of dawn without saying a word to anyone.

I cursed his son for being negligent. But he retorted”naah, babuaji, hamar ladkawa hamesha tarakki kare.bada admi bane” (please don’t curse him. I wish from the deepest core of my heart that he always moves ahead in life). Such is the heart of a father. My father extended his helping hand as much as he could and gave him addresses of some other relatives in Lucknow.

Tears couldn’t roll down from my eyes, but my heart was crying. Have we become so insensitive to the needs of our parents? It’s a question which has haunted me since I came across this incident.

"Perils of Life 2"

I would like to extend my sincere thanks to my dear friend Kuldeep Yadav who could suggest a symptom of this fatal disorder. However, as far as my memory goes, I don’t remember him of following the symptom he suggested. Anyways, allow me to write the sequel of the earlier episode….

1. One has to prepare himself for free tuitions and lectures at all costs. Whether you belong to the same branch or not, is just a matter of luck. Preparations for such tuitions are utmost necessary. You could miss out your classes and assignments; they are trivialities of life for you now. Choose a suitable place for your lessons other than library because these lessons could also make you feel hungry and thirsty. Canteen would be a better proposition. Make her feel comfortable during your early lessons, this would pave the way for your future course. Don’t miss out this opportunity guys, DON’T…………

2. Dig into your wallet every time a bill comes before both of you. Never allow her to pay for anything even if you have to borrow from your friends. After all, in love money is never regarded as a constraint. You should always make her feel that you come from one of the richest families in the country. Ask your dad to increase your pocket expenses on the pretext of some exam fees etc. You have a girlfriend and a social status to maintain now. The pocket money you received earlier was not sufficient. You could justify this way if someone reprimands you.


3. Your presence is a prerequisite every time she performs/acts/presents anything. After all ,your presence would make her feel proud that at least somebody is there to applaud her, no matter how dismal her performance is!!!
Applaud her yaar, she is that someone special for you.

4. Never ever dare to forget her birthday or any other important day of her life. These are more important to you, even more than national holidays. On her birthdays, her friends would ask for a treat and you have to stand as a saviour for her by asking them to suggest a good restaurant. Be a sport yaar, after all they have a played a pivotal role in your love cycle. Give them a treat and set precedent for other Romeos of your generation.

5. Be prepared to drop her back home after your summer vacations. Even if your hometown is in opposite direction and you have to circumnavigate the whole nation just to drop her, it should not bother you. Love knows no bounds dear!!! It is unconditional, so you better make reservations for the journey of a lifetime. Recently ,one of my friends has started a courier company of his own from NJP to VIJAYWADA only for the sake of love. He launched this venture so that he could be remembered forever for this great heroic deed!!!

NB: I shall be grateful to the readers if they could suggest a few more symptoms.

"Perils of life"

No more journey experiences, they are quite boring, I suppose!!!!!!! It’s time now to write about something which affects our very own existence in this ruthless world.
This post is dedicated to the perils of running after a girl/female. In typical UPite language, this is referred to as “laundiyabaazi”.hmmm……

Definition: The practise of running after a girl to lure her or to win her trust just to satisfy your imprudent desires and to swank of your enviable reputation amongst your friend circle is referred to as “laundiyabaazi”. There could be several hazards linked to this. I have tried my level best to recollect the symptoms and traits of this fatal disorder. I would still request the readers of my blog to suggest a few more symptoms, if they could……..

1. You will try your level best to avoid the company of your male counterparts. They should now hold no place in your priority list. They will no longer be a matter of thoughtfulness even in your deepest thoughts. Treat them as ‘untouchables’ or else you will be denied entry into this elite club.

2. You tend to become overprotective a propos the needs of the fairer sex. If they ask for a rose, you gift them the whole bouquet. I mean you should be in the likes of femme fatale.


3. You need to console her after every gruelling test she undergoes. She has to be pacified at all costs. After every arduous test she submits herself to, it becomes your unflinching duty to boost her morale. Remember, she is the meekest thing you have ever come across in your whole life span. So, go ahead make her worries yours and pray to the almighty for her unrelenting success.

4. Thanks to the telecom revolution, the world has never been more connected. Today mobile phone has become a necessity along with roti, kapda aur makaan. People in love would always praise “Reliance” for that matter.
“Dhirubhai ka ek hi sapna, har aashique use kare mobile apna.” The company has slashed the call rates exorbitantly low to ensure that love blossoms.

5. You have to move yourself anytime, any day, anywhere and present yourself
whenever she summons you. After all, she is the best thing you have ever had in your whole life span. So, even if she drags you out of your sleep even before you could take a wink, don’t be surprised. After all, it’s LOVE.

6. You will take a vow to kill your creativity and talents for her sake since they
are of least importance to you. You pursued all those activities to utilize your time. Now, you already have a big task of appeasing your girl. So, to hell with your talents. They should now be discarded like anything.

7. You have to find time out of your busy schedule in order to meet her. All
other activities will take their course. Barriers such as season, examinations and work schedules should never act as a deterrent in your meetings.

NB: Readers, please suggest some more symptoms. Please……………